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Post by Gerd von Rundstedt on Jul 29, 2022 15:34:19 GMT
Alright, the people have spoken! This will be divided among five people, with three at the beginning. Auchinleck will come in on the fifth page, and Monty and Rommel on the fifteenth. The goal of this is to be just as intelligent as those actually commanding the African front - that is, to have the brainpower of a senile turkey. Feel free to go beyond the limits enforced by pesky things like "reality" or "a shred of historical accuracy." This is primarily to have fun, and anything not incredibly ridiculous is fine by me. So no, you may not summon Zeus and his army of Adeptus Mechanicus, but you can, for example, state that the Nile River is suddenly flooded with frogs, Ten Plagues style. Players: Graziani - Gerd von RundstedtWavell - Kliment Jefremovitš VorošilovAuchinleck - Eugene V. DebsRommel - Josip Broz TitoMontgomery - John Marston |
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Post by Eugene V. Debs on Jul 29, 2022 18:28:26 GMT
Alright, the people have spoken! This will be divided among five people, with three at the beginning. Auchinleck will come in on the fifth page, and Monty and Rommel on the fifteenth. The goal of this is to be just as intelligent as those actually commanding the African front - that is, to have the brainpower of a senile turkey. Feel free to go beyond the limits enforced by pesky things like "reality" or "a shred of historical accuracy." This is primarily to have fun, and anything not incredibly ridiculous is fine by me. So no, you may not summon Zeus and his army of Adeptus Mechanicus, but you can, for example, state that the Nile River is suddenly flooded with frogs, Ten Plagues style. Players: Graziani - Gerd von RundstedtWavell - Auchinleck - Rommel - Montgomery - I'd like to play as Auchinleck. |
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Post by Kliment Jefremovitš Vorošilov on Jul 29, 2022 22:35:06 GMT
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Post by Kliment Jefremovitš Vorošilov on Jul 29, 2022 22:38:20 GMT
Alright after a thorough inspection of my troops I have decided to make three things to start with:
1. To boost British patriotism tank fuel will be replaced with tea.
2. I send an order to his majesty for 10,000 buckets and shovels to build a giant sandcastle to defend from the enemy.
3. The world championships of nose picking and head scratching will be held at Cairo to boost army morale.
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Post by Gerd von Rundstedt on Jul 29, 2022 23:13:33 GMT
"Your plans lack ambition compared to the most professional army in the world. I will call on every Libyan citizen (all of whom love me to the bottom of their hearts) to go to Benghazi to recieve top of the line weapons (to prepare for the war).
Furthermore, as a show of trust of Libya, I have decided to remove all Italian troops from Libya and into Egypt. One last thing, the Blackshirts will do random killings to make sure the Libyans don't revolt. That should give security to the North African home front. Not a chance that they'll ever decide they want their own country, despite the numerous local revolts in recent years."
-- Maresciallo di Campo Rodolfo Graziani, to Archibald Wavell.
"The Italian military, they lack small arms or logistics in the middle of the desert, but we do have some spears and slings we picked up from the Libyans, and I am 98% certain you can live off of water from mirages. We are doing excellent in the campaign, your pizzaness. Britain and their stupid sandcastles are doomed to fall if we can figure out a way to knock them over. Rest assured, I have some of the smartest subordinates on the planet."
-- Superio Mariobrotherios Rodolfo Graziani to Benito Mussolini "Non solo Il Duce, ma Il Mega Duce"
[Note: This has been changed out of respect to his holiness Il Duce]
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Post by Josip Broz Tito on Jul 30, 2022 1:06:27 GMT
Alright, the people have spoken! This will be divided among five people, with three at the beginning. Auchinleck will come in on the fifth page, and Monty and Rommel on the fifteenth. The goal of this is to be just as intelligent as those actually commanding the African front - that is, to have the brainpower of a senile turkey. Feel free to go beyond the limits enforced by pesky things like "reality" or "a shred of historical accuracy." This is primarily to have fun, and anything not incredibly ridiculous is fine by me. So no, you may not summon Zeus and his army of Adeptus Mechanicus, but you can, for example, state that the Nile River is suddenly flooded with frogs, Ten Plagues style. Players: Graziani - Gerd von RundstedtWavell - Kliment Jefremovitš VorošilovAuchinleck - Eugene V. DebsRommel - Montgomery - I want the Desert Fox! (I know Gerdy will roast me for this cuz Rommel was a terrible strategist) |
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Post by Gerd von Rundstedt on Jul 30, 2022 1:35:34 GMT
Alright, the people have spoken! This will be divided among five people, with three at the beginning. Auchinleck will come in on the fifth page, and Monty and Rommel on the fifteenth. The goal of this is to be just as intelligent as those actually commanding the African front - that is, to have the brainpower of a senile turkey. Feel free to go beyond the limits enforced by pesky things like "reality" or "a shred of historical accuracy." This is primarily to have fun, and anything not incredibly ridiculous is fine by me. So no, you may not summon Zeus and his army of Adeptus Mechanicus, but you can, for example, state that the Nile River is suddenly flooded with frogs, Ten Plagues style. Players: Graziani - Gerd von RundstedtWavell - Kliment Jefremovitš VorošilovAuchinleck - Eugene V. DebsRommel - Montgomery - I want the Desert Fox! (I know Gerdy will roast me for this cuz Rommel was a terrible strategist) That's the point. Everyone was a terrible strategist. |
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Post by Kliment Jefremovitš Vorošilov on Jul 30, 2022 9:11:07 GMT
Your plans are like overcooked spagetti and your leader like a 50 lira frozen pizza.
A trench will be constructed around the mighty sandcastle and it will be filled with TEA.
For some reason, the tanks are not working as expected. Archibald Wavell suspects this is because of his soldiers making bad tea. And making bad tea is the worst crime in the world. These bad tea makers will be executed by nose picking.
His teaness Archibald Wavell tells to not be afraid of spears and slings of the enemy. He tells to simply throw sand into the eyes of Italians. The money saved from rifle ammunition can be used to buy more tea.
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Post by Josip Broz Tito on Jul 30, 2022 9:35:56 GMT
I want the Desert Fox! (I know Gerdy will roast me for this cuz Rommel was a terrible strategist) That's the point. Everyone was a terrible strategist. Really? Monty was ok, right? |
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Post by John Marston on Jul 30, 2022 10:28:53 GMT
Got to go with the only option available I think. What is the starting positions?
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Post by John Marston on Jul 30, 2022 10:54:18 GMT
Your plans are like overcooked spagetti and your leader like a 50 lira frozen pizza. A trench will be constructed around the mighty sandcastle and it will be filled with TEA. For some reason, the tanks are not working as expected. Archibald Wavell suspects this is because of his soldiers making bad tea. And making bad tea is the worst crime in the world. These bad tea makers will be executed by nose picking. His teaness Archibald Wavell tells to not be afraid of spears and slings of the enemy. He tells to simply throw sand into the eyes of Italians. The money saved from rifle ammunition can be used to buy more tea. Welp, I laughed hard on that one  A new rule has been established - Anyone found possesing German sausages, wine or beer may face up to -2 years in jail and not so honorary and permanent retirement from the armed forces. British forces though, are allowed to steal aforementioned things and are encouraged to sell them to buy tea for the British tanks. Only for Kliment Jefremovitš Vorošilov Why don't we get some Beer and sausages for tonight? I heard that the Germans has gotten fresh stock of them and has contacted us to join the party. |
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Post by Kliment Jefremovitš Vorošilov on Jul 30, 2022 10:57:43 GMT
Your plans are like overcooked spagetti and your leader like a 50 lira frozen pizza. A trench will be constructed around the mighty sandcastle and it will be filled with TEA. For some reason, the tanks are not working as expected. Archibald Wavell suspects this is because of his soldiers making bad tea. And making bad tea is the worst crime in the world. These bad tea makers will be executed by nose picking. His teaness Archibald Wavell tells to not be afraid of spears and slings of the enemy. He tells to simply throw sand into the eyes of Italians. The money saved from rifle ammunition can be used to buy more tea. Welp, I laughed hard on that one A new rule has been established - Anyone found possesing German sausages, wine or beer may face up to -2 years in jail and not so honorary and permanent retirement from the armed forces. British forces though, are allowed to steal aforementioned things and are encouraged to sell them to buy tea for the British tanks. Only for Kliment Jefremovitš Vorošilov Why don't we get some Beer and sausages for tonight? I heard that the Germans has gotten fresh stock of them and has contacted us to join the party. Only for John MarstonYep, I'm tired pf bad teamakers. Their doesn't even work on tanks. |
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Post by John Marston on Jul 30, 2022 11:01:25 GMT
Welp, I laughed hard on that one A new rule has been established - Anyone found possesing German sausages, wine or beer may face up to -2 years in jail and not so honorary and permanent retirement from the armed forces. British forces though, are allowed to steal aforementioned things and are encouraged to sell them to buy tea for the British tanks. Only for Kliment Jefremovitš Vorošilov Why don't we get some Beer and sausages for tonight? I heard that the Germans has gotten fresh stock of them and has contacted us to join the party. Only for John Marston Yep, I'm tired pf bad teamakers. Their doesn't even work on tanks. Only for Kliment Jefremovitš VorošilovHow about we try German beer instead of tea as fuel for tanks? |
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Post by Kliment Jefremovitš Vorošilov on Jul 30, 2022 11:03:35 GMT
To fight the enemy, the Supreme Tea Master (yes, that's my title now) has made a rule that whenever a soldier has to fart, it will have to be done into a gas bottle. The moisty methane will be used for gas warfare. To improve fart rates baked beans will be the only allowed meal from now on - with soem tea of course.
Also, the greatest farters will be awarded a First Class Imperial Fart Master Medal.
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Post by Kliment Jefremovitš Vorošilov on Jul 30, 2022 11:13:13 GMT
Only for John MarstonSounds good - using their own weapons against themselves. |
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